Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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