I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
