Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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