Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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