Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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