Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
