Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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