Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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