well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i think my mom watched the whole time
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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