Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
