Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Randomize
