Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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