i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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