I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
