My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
