Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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