we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
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