# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Randomize
