these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize