windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
NoShamevember. You game?
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
