Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
