Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
