so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
