Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
