We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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