Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
