All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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