I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
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