it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
