As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
You left your underwear on the fireplace
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize