Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
