it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
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