And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
