this just has baby written all over it
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
