dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Randomize
