You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize