OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
