My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
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