i don't like sucking hair
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize