im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Randomize
