If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
