I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
it glows. i had to have it.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
