if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
