it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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