i wish peter jackson would direct porn
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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