i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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