Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
