trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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