Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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