just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
