Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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