I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
