just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
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