Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
