did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
