RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
