What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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