I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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