Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize
