after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize