You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
