CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
