i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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