So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
