Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
