You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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