my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
