Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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