no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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