I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
