he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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