You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
