It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Randomize
