Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
