Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
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