I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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