Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I'm just crazy horny about you
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
It's rum buckets o'clock
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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