He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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