Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
