Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
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