I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
