weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
